Somatic S*x Education, Part 5
Written by Barry Carl, Certified Somatic S*x Educator
The results of a new study on the efficacy of S*xological Bodywork are being compiled as I write this. I can’t cite the exact results yet, but the data suggests that SB is extremely effective in supporting the resolution of sexual and emotional trauma, painful penetration during sex, body image issues, self-perception, anorgasmia and issues relating to difficulties around arousal and orgasm, in fostering and expanding erotic and sexual self-knowledge and confidence and being able to communicate one’s needs and desires effectively.
What I can easily point to right now is what I have witnessed in my work as a S*xological Bodyworker. These are anecdotal stories from my case files. Names and details have been altered for privacy, but my observations are unredacted.
Let’s call this woman Olga. She was sexually abused as a child by close relatives – people that she should have been able to trust. Olga is a highly intelligent, articulate, and successful person in a very demanding and exacting job and has done well at everything she tries except for s*x. She experienced pain during penetration and struggled with orgasm. When she managed to have one, it was only in solo play and somewhat disappointing. It was always a struggle for her, and when she was finally exhausted from the struggle, she would give up, believing that she was incapable of more than a single, somewhat anticlimactic climax. In her work with SB’s, the pain she experienced during penetration disappeared. She discovered that she was in fact quite multiorgasmic, and had the experience of orgasm with a partner. Each of these discoveries felt like miracles to her, and the good feelings she began to experience toward herself spilled over into the rest of her life, which opened and expanded to accommodate her newfound self and self-confidence.
Meet Cynthia. Cynthia was depressed. She was in a joyless marriage to a man who paid no attention to her needs and desires and seemed to care only about his own. She had given up asking for what she wanted and had lapsed into a sullen funk. An extremely attractive and charismatic woman, she had grown unsure of herself and had told herself that her mojo had died, that she was no longer attractive. She and her partner had spent thousands of dollars on couples counseling but their situation continued to personify the term “stalemate” and her disappointment, resentment, and anger only grew as time went on. In addition, she had recently begun to have a stubborn urinary tract infection that she couldn’t seem to cure completely. She came to SB in a state of constant low-level depression, and taking meds for depression, anxiety, muscle spasms, and lower back pain.
You probably know how this is going to go, eh? Cynthia has been able to get rid of her meds because through her work with SB she discovered her own ‘internal pharmacy’. Once activated, her symptoms disappeared, along with the urinary tract infection. She also found her voice and left her uncaring mate. She discovered that she still had her mojo and didn’t have to settle for a life of quiet frustration and anger.
Olga is in her late 40’s. Cynthia is in her late 30’s. My next client, Becky, is in her 90’s. Yes, you read that correctly. Becky hadn’t been touched since her husband died forty years earlier. It was my honor to help her eroticism to reawaken. (Note: Don’t ever believe anything that anyone tells you about age and sexuality! We are sexual beings from the day we’re born until the day we die.) I watched as Becky’s erotic self came on line. It surprised her that it was still there, but the thing that surprised her the most was that after each SB session, the age-related pains in her body decreased to the point where she no longer required daily medication for aches and pains. She called it a ‘double bonus.’
The results detailed above are not atypical. Healing through the erotic is not just a possibility. It’s a reality. Misplaced zealotry, fear, and disinformation have obfuscated the truth about our own bodies, their needs, and how we can heal. In future blogs we’ll be talking about the programming that turns us against ourselves and our bodies and how we can reprogram ourselves to become whole once again.
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