“Divine Feminine” 19 Symptom Free Today
A little memory pic from my S*xological Bodywork retreat in Hawaii, what a nice time I am reflecting back on this morning – an amazing happy time
You may have noticed that I did not post a blog this week, and for me, miss consistency, lol, that was a difficult decision to make as I really do like to stick with things and know that being consistent with blogs and other social media is key to the development of MHT – but this past week I just didn’t have the time to write, just sooooo incredibly busy with my other businesses. I will pick the regular blog back up in the next couple of weeks but for now I am taking a little break you see——
This week is my birthday week and I have been looking ahead at this week and with all that I have been feeling and where I find myself these days, I only, really, had one wish and that wish will not happen!
I try not to be angry but I find myself angry, I kept waking up last night and at 4am the tears just started flowing – like what the fu*ck -ugh! See this isn’t a rare year that I will wake up by myself on my bday, no – I think the last time I woke up with someone I liked or loved was at least 4 maybe 5 years ago. I know I am a big girl and birthdays are just another day, and who gives a f*ck anyway- f*ck – I think I am just going to cancel my bday this year and maybe every year moving forward so I don’t get into this emotional funk. But for today I’m just going to bitch and write about how I feel, because that is what I do anymore – I write – I post – and sometimes I feel better or at least it’s a start to get there generally –
I have this switch in my head – it’s kill switch – I have zero control over it – when this switch goes off – I go off – and I will make moves – sometime destructive (to me) – sometimes I am very vocal in this phase – that is actually often the better phase – but mostly I turn inwards and can become a bit passive aggressive – this is the not good phase! ( I will not go into what happens here) – but a disclaimer, this is all about me, I do not harm anyone! It’s all about me thinking I need to make adjustments in my life, sometimes they are right – often, because I can be blinded by the pain – they are not and then there is more pain – well I don’t know – maybe – by writing about this kill switch – can I change how I behave within this riptide!
Today I will muddle through – already that little writing above helped – I have some work to do and errands to run. I am going to get away this weekend, I currently have tentative plans to go to a beautiful farm and evaluate this property to host S*xological Bodywork and other types of retreats. I am still being very consistent with my pleasures and joys each day – for the past few days I only ever had time for one – you all know which one I pic, lol – and I am framing the future of MHT – I will make an announcement soon – that will finally set me free to talk and write about the things that are dear to me – I will leave it there for now – BUT, you don’t want to miss it!
With that, thank you my friends for reading – and gentleman, please don’t message me that you want to date me or take me out, lol – that is not what this is post is about – I have plenty of options and had a date on Saturday, lol – so this is not a cry for date, lol – it is to share the process in how I deal with my life and my challenges – and hopefully make better choices when I am in distress! I am signing off and I wish all of you a happy, healthy and productive Tuesday.
Live to love