Hm, I almost didn’t. I have been back and forth whether or not write a blog this week. I have been on this roller coaster of emotions although in general my week was not bad. But could I write anything that makes any sense to anyone other than myself?….well I don’t know…I’ll let you be the judge.
One of the best things that happened this week was my friend E and I were able to get together for the first time since I returned back from Hawaii on March 20th, we had both been in quarantine, staying clear of others for 14 days, and then decided we would come together and have dinner at my house. For those who follow me on FaceBook and Instagram, you may have caught that story of her brining me flowers and me smiling with my arms outstretched, not for embrace, but to back her up as these damn flowers could like, kill me! No, in all seriousness, it was NOT funny – although we made fun and laughed through the process of sanitizing both flowers and human in the mud room – yeah, it was a thing!
This was the second full week of living our new reality, and while I had my struggles others had a much worse picture to deal with. Personal loss of some magnitude, and I cannot say that I can honestly emphasize! I can just absorb the news and try to picture the loss of someone I care about, but that is a close second! I do not have experience dealing with death in this manner, when I deal with the death of a loved one and have the privilege to be in their presence as they are ready to leave the body, I will sit with them and hold their hand while my other hand rests on their heart – I work with energy and I make use of energy connections – in one instance, a friend had American Bald Eagles on his land – and I got the message that he shall “soar with the Eagles toward the light”, so that was the gentle whispered mantra I would say as he took his last breath – there is peace and dare I say, beauty, when one can do this, a gentle loving guided send off – and here we know, that this suffering was so great, as so many had to leave the earth alone! I am not suggesting that death with dignity is the norm in even normal circumstances, but this here, we know, was avoidable! I felt – a lot of sadness!
At times the only thing I could do is get very quiet and stare out my office window and wonder…next?
I find myself going from sad to happy as I trace my thoughts. Often I cry, sometimes so hard I cannot breathe. Other times I can laugh with just as much enthusiasm, if you want to call it that. Sometimes I question my sanity. Is this all really happening at this moment in time? Sometimes I feel – what a tease – Dear Universe – you gave me access to unimaginable pleasure – I found my womanhood for the first time,– and then – this – let’s call it “Rosebud Girl Interrupted” …
My value system has changed over the years and what we are living now emphasizes the need to examine what is truly important for me; my relationships, my GPS, my pleasure and to have a fulfilled erotic life!
As I said in some of my posts, everything is on the table for me – I could just as easily decide to move to Hawaii and swim in the Ocean with my dreadlocked hippy friends, having gushing orgasms or move to NY and organize upscale kink parties with T & A ( initials modified to protect the innocent) and ,yes – I will keep my humor – lol
I am a true survivor and thriver – I have been here before, in my teens moving to the United States. Several times in my life I moved across country from Texas to California in 1990 then 1996 to Northern VA and now – well – I will decide – but I know this – I am not staying in Winchester VA, NOPE – I see a move and shift as soon as Q19 is relaxed enough to make such moves!
And it is here I can again get back to the message of accessing the erotic core that keeps me fed alive, enthused to push forward and experience even more – awhhh!
I want to start having these candid conversations with you about what this is and what makes me and so many others tick– the discovery of the ultimate pleasure which can only be found in a Rosebud, which is, for me, unimageable. Well, not anymore!
I am remined that with all that sadness and suffering the only thing that I can do is find a way to move positively through life, I must, in a sense, be strong enough to walk over all barriers and live the best life I can. I receive downloads that say, ”Don’t you dare despair! Each day you live, you live it up – you hold nothing back!” And I know you hear these things all the time but how many people can you point to and ask them what they did the first part of March 2020 and the answer is *“ I was at an orgasm camp in Hawaii in the middle of a Pandemic”…having found this erotic pleasure healing source, it is now my quest to assure it has constant presence in my life. I know that this body and soul needs this nourishment like food and water, it is essential to my evolution as a human! And as S*xologial Bodywork has had such healing properties for me, I continue to be all the more committed to delve deeper and share more!
The lasting effects of S*xological Bodywork continue to allow me to draw strength, motivation and inspiration. Just the other day when I was conversing with Barry, I recalled the healing orgasmic sensations I experienced at our last session. Let me set the stage for you:
It was quiet in my office and all you could hear was the wind howling outside, the sound of a flagpole clanking, and squeaking noise like that of a swing set – in that moment as Barry and I chatted, it was as if I was in his presence and I could feel his entire being, the touch, the gaze, the moment of release, it was “for me” happening real time – the Soma was able to remember this healing sense of touch and pleasure sensation and draw from it at this instance – I recall a calm as I settled into this healing energy and reveled in the knowledge that I can access this at anytime – I was able to reset my mindset and push forward with joy…I accessed my Soma’s natural anti-depressant, if you will, and it is this gift and many others I want to help make accessible to you!
I don’t really have much more to share with you all this week. I still don’t feel all that comfortable to give you a lead into next week but I can say that whatever I bring to you will be genuine and current with where I am.
My hope is that you get something from this blog, as I read it back, I see that I am able to hold the common thread and process to stay within a positive energy zone and facilitate growth. This week had both pleasures, and I purposely started with that, my unification with my friend E and great sadness, as shared in the next section that then lead me to ponder and share my vision for what might be next.
That brings me to todays message, which is really an extension of last weeks message “Manifestation”- “You can make your life up any way you want” and then add this “NOW”….
What is this you have been reading here today? – well – you are witness to the process of “Manifestation” – I am laying out the path that I envision that will facilitate personal evolution – I invite you to take this process of living in the moment in and assess YOUR current situation, manifest an idea, then forge a plan that can get you to the next phase of the evolution you “envision” – in dire times you have but two choices, you can falter and capitulate, or you can decide that it is exactly this moment that is right for personal growth – in other words dream your dream and then make it happen! Take a risk!
With that I say cheers…and stay tuned more to come!
Live to love❤️
*credit to DN roommate in Hawaii, she came up with that most fitting phrase